Home > The Goofy Book 3: The Real Thing > You’re Not A Good Girl

You’re Not A Good Girl

Guest Writer – Sinny:

What is a good girl and what is a good boy?  I’m talking of course in terms of sex.  You see, when a girl doesn’t have sex, she’s a good girl.  When a guy doesn’t have sex, he just can’t get ass.  This scientific phenomenon is explained in more detail below.

This isn't Sinny. But you can pretend you're listening to your favorite hot TV doctor, Elliot Reid.

When a girl doesn’t have sex, she’s a good girl…

This is because it is easy for a girl to get laid whenever she damn well pleases.  I could (along with most other girls) go outside right now and, in about five minutes, round up 60 guys who are more than willing to take me to bed.  The fact that I don’t do this (most of the time) is what makes me a “good girl.”

 When a guy doesn’t have sex, he can’t get any…

A guy would like nothing more than to have a daily experience of the above scenario; going outside and instantly having 60 girls want his cock.  But that just doesn’t happen, unless you’re in Vegas or at a strip club, because that’s how they make a living.  I’m not saying any guy would sleep with any girl that says yes to him, but he’d love it if it were that easy to have a girl; you just say the word and they’re there.

Alas, the one thing we women were blessed with in this world (besides the almighty clitoris) that is supposed to make up for unequal pay and sexual harassment: the astoundingly easy power of sexually manipulating men.  So my point in all this is that men who don’t have sex don’t choose not to.  They just can’t at this particular time because no women have said yes.  Keep tryin’ fellas.

So, now you see the difference.

Geoff’s addendum: 

This is why guys, as a whole group of the arrogant monkeys we are, are more prone to calling a girl a slut or whore (or full-on dirty slut whore depending on how jealously pissed off he is at the time) because they know that they can get away with going home alone and not be mocked by it; perhaps even gain sympathy from the fellow comrades.  There’s a fine peer nature keeping every girl and guy in their place, not too high and not too low on the sexual achievements totem pole.  However, every girl can, by all means, rhythmically vary her height while rapidly climbing and descending the skin flute totem pole.

As in typical fashion, I would have added an original image here to add a pun to the last sentence... however, this last one already dominates 50 plus percent of the internet content so I think we can skip it just this one time.

And, as best said in a pickup line situation, “You know what I hate about women?”

They all want to be approached by the handsome guys and not the creepers, yet most sit back and wait with their girl friends, or dance, or both.  It’s a natural, animalistic sign of dominance when somebody approaches, so the females tend to hang back.  However, realize that instead of tirelessly pushing away incoming creepers at the bar, why don’t you make yourself useful and go talk to the guy you really want to while you’ll still be simultaneously semi-shielded by horrendously drunk dancers trying to violently dry hump your ass.  You are in a bar/club/rave/loud-dance-music-room/mall/bus-stop after all.

Lastly, regarding the line, “I’m not saying any guy would sleep with any girl that says yes to him, but he’d love it if it were that easy to have a girl,” there’s a big underlying clause here.  Unless he’s been visited in the night by the fabled Lorena Bobbit fairy, he’s always thinking with two heads at once; the lower usually being the more dominant and copious amounts of alcohol influencing the upper.  Two heads are better than one, but the strive for willing ass is greater.

When people stop hitting on you at the bar and you find yourself yet again going home alone, crack a bottle of your finest $7 champagne, and open up The Goofy Book 3.

  1. 2013/07/29 at 2:53 am

    Its like you read my mind! You seem to know so much about
    this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I
    think that you can do with a few pics to drive the message
    home a bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog.
    A great read. I’ll definitely be back.

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