Home > The Goofy Book 3: The Real Thing > It Was A Celebration

It Was A Celebration

Why do you have to take Christmas lights down once the holiday is over?  Is it unacceptable to want ice-sickle lights hanging down from the edge of my roof in the Summer?*  The spirit of Christmas is allowed to start in early Autumn when we begin our endless pre-shopping-shopping with holiday tunes already blaring on the radio to my dismay.  So why is it that we can start planning four months early, but these festive lights have to be taken down and packed away back in the attic by the middle of January?  I’m a catalyst for change and it’s time that it becomes social practice to leave them up year round… especially if you have the lights where you can select the colors; this way you can turn them to green say around St. Patrick’s Day and so on… or just leave the multicolor on without care.

Christmas

St. Patrick's Day

Easter

Independence Day

I will admit that the houses flaunting their gigantic blow up Santa’s and snowmen need to be deflated; we don’t need those competing with the Easter Bunny blow ups that will surely be displayed.

A giant blown up Frank creeping out children one by one

Now on the lighter side of life, by keeping these Christmas decorations up we’ll all remain in the spirit of giving which in turn increases the amount given to charities and those in need.  Don’t you feel guilt knowing that by taking down your flashing trees and reindeer you’re limiting how much these other needy families are able to receive?  How unthoughtful you are.

*I’ve also come to realize that I have a trend of starting chapters with rhetorical questions.  Rhetorical in that I can’t hear your answers, but even if I could, I may just tune them out.

For more completely irrelevant Christmas humor, see Tree Hungry .

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  1. 2012/01/01 at 9:56 am

    I KNOW! I think the taking down of Christmas lights is the biggest contributor to my post Christmas depression. And I do love your creeping out children one by one. And do you think it is a problem to begin things with a rhetorical question? And don’t you just hate people who feel they must answer rhetorical questions? My recurring problem is beginning sentences with the word And.

    • 2012/01/13 at 9:32 am

      And I’ll do both by addressing a rhetorical question of your own while starting the sentence with And, and do it in such a way that I’m saying absolutely nothing useful in this grammatically flawed sentence.

  2. 2012/01/13 at 8:47 am

    I love that last shot!

    • 2012/01/13 at 9:31 am

      I feel like, pending copyright legalities, I could make giant Frank blowup “Easter bunny” outdoor decorations for those that think the bright pastel soft colors abundant around Easter are a little much and need to be toned down

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