Home > Random Ramblings > The 2am Christmas Letter

The 2am Christmas Letter

(a late night attempt years back at simple Christmas humor)

2:00am December 25th, 2006

Twas the night before Christmas
and wrapping presents down there
was the son who waited
til parents slept upstairs
Elephants are not red and green
as you all very well know
that’d be really hard to believe
like if I told you we had snow
The puppy hears a *CLANG*
and becomes quite restless
but the sound is just me
because I ran into the table
I’ve wrapped some gifts
with cows printed on brown
because I couldn’t find
that fancy paper you use
The rhymes have stopped
and nor do I care
because it’s two AM
and care rhymes with bear
I’ve made an attempt
it turned out alright
so Merry Christmas to all
and to all a goodnight
… or good morning to me…


For other Christmas insanity, here’s the true evil behind Christmas trees, and let’s not forget one more rant into ear-bleeding holiday songs.
  1. eyeLaugh
    2011/12/25 at 12:09 pm

    nice attempt!

  2. 2012/01/10 at 10:47 pm

    This almost reminds me a little of a poem that Jemaine Clement, of Flight of the Conchords, would cite.
    I thought it was an awful, but full hearted attempt at poetry until you ran into the table!
    As Borat said of Shakespeare, “Shisa good”.

  3. 2012/01/11 at 1:39 am

    this isn’t so much an “attempt” at poetry as it is purposefully doing it as wrong as possible hahaha

    because I still like to share the older posts, here’s some of the more poetry related items
    https://forbettergenius.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/coasting/ (oo look at the curving lines)

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