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Staying Up Late

I think I’m still 8 years old; at least when it comes down to putting away my toys and going to bed.  But bedtime is too arbitrary of a concept for me to follow because at this day and age, it’s not consistent.  It’s almost always an involuntary occurrence or a forceful act of will.

I. must. finish. post.

Drink too much?  Involuntary: Pass the fuck out.  Guy who just got laid?  Involuntary (while simultaneously making the most comfortable decision to have the world’s best nap): pass the fuck out.  Sleeping pills?  Forceful act of will because you had to take those pills purposefully to sleep (or during some crazy laser-light glow-stick rave, I’m not here to judge).  Bored at two in the morning?  Forceful act of will to get off the computer or out from in front of the TV as if praying that your dreams will hopefully take you to a more interesting place.  Unfortunately, this night they turned out to be nightmares so, yeah, staying up later watching a bad Sci-Fi movie was probably the safer choice.

There just isn’t a standard bedtime anymore… but again, it’s not like you’ve ever followed it anyway.

Got an important school project due in the morning?  Stay up as late as needed to get that shit done.  Got an important work project due in the morning?  Stay up as late as needed to get that shit done.  This is nothing more than adjusting the flimsy bedtime rules to whatever fits your current predicament.

In general, I’m simply not that tired at one, two, or three AM.  I write my best material at this hour (probably because my mind is completely gone at this hour which leads to more interesting thoughts… see my closely guarded secret for writing success).  However, I know that come eight AM I’m going to hate everything I see for at least the next few hours and now feel exhausted.

So I’m feeling exhausted after resting peacefully in bed for six hours, yet I was feeling energetic the night before after being active for eighteen hours?  How does this make any logical sense?  Body, have I ever told you that you’re dumb?

Traditionally, parents are also teaching kids the confusing wonders of the English language.  A parent hears their unruly child upstairs in bed trying his best to resist the parental bedtime command to go to sleep so he’s flopping around and singing songs to himself.  Rhetorical question: so what is the aggravated parent going to yell?  “GO TO BED!”

But this angel of a perfect child is already lying in bed tucked in the covers, so how can he “go to bed” again?  All in all, this seems nothing more than a nice way of yelling, “Shut the hell up and think of jumping sheep or something!”  If that kid grew up on a farm, sheep jumping over a fence is itching its way into the nightmare category because that innocent idea is now a grueling farm-owning task to go round up the escaping sheep.  Damn dreams, making me do work.  Never can catch a break.

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  1. eyeLaugh
    2011/12/25 at 12:25 pm

    I wish I could be a night owl, but work doesn’t allow it.

  1. 2015/08/13 at 11:53 am

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