Home > I Changed My Mind > I Challenge Your Liebster Award Blog To Be This Random

I Challenge Your Liebster Award Blog To Be This Random

The fabled Liebster Award.  The one award where the five parties nominated are all technically considered winners who nominate other nominee-winners in an Earth circling chain effect to some spread statistic that I’m neither patient enough nor capable of calculating.  The one award that nobody has ever heard about until they’ve received it (it must be a secret high-society thing, else you would have known).  I think it all started when Bugs Bunny said, “What’s up, Doc?” and from this baby Liebster was born among a group of metropolitan Eskimos who prophesized that one day our society will be sharing thoughts across a worldwide network and believing that others truly care to read about what we made for our delectable dinner.  It was Ramen noodles and beer.

From what I’ve gathered, my potential partner in internet social crime, TootsieWoo (if the FBI comes looking for any reason, ummmm, She did it), will continue to provide plenty of open segue in her posts for me to raid the comment section with my ever-insightful witticisms.  And here, I almost thought that I was inventing a new word, “witticism,” but alas I did not.  Damn.  Either way, she’s the cause of me writing this post due to the nomination thingy…. blame her… nicely.

It’s been rumored that there are some sort of underground rules as to how these Liebster Awards acceptance speeches are supposed to flow.  The second rule of the Liebster Awards is you do not talk about the Liebster Awards.  The third rule of the Liebster Awards is you do not talk about the Liebster Awards!  The fourth rule of the Liebster Awards is something about fighting until the other nominees call stop or are unconscious and bleeding profusely… I feel like I’ve heard these before…

For Better GENiUS

I obviously spent no time on this at all.

In regards to these aforementioned rules that I so creatively made up (sounds like I deserve another award, hint hint), if you know know anything about my writing, I like to confuse and break apart from the traditional flow of things.  For example, The FBG Guide To Ignoring Guidelines may give you the creative spark you need to wreak havoc on the quaint, undisturbed blogging community… but in a nice way… maybe not if you’re an asshole (you probably already know if you are, I shouldn’t have to point you out individually).

Now what chaos ensues when a Liebster Award nominee-winner inadvertently nominates another blogger who was already a nominee-winner without this prior knowledge because the nominee-winner-nominee didn’t display that they were a nominee-winner to the nominee-winner who nominated them?  Does your head hurt yet?  Well, it should, because mine is currently trying to excrete itself from my skull in effort to understand the logic behind the double-nominee-winner scenario I described.  I guess I even answered my own question as to what chaos ensues; it explodes brains.  Quite a messy fiasco; just ask Jules Winnfield and Vincent Vega what it was like cleaning brains out from the back seat of a car.  Well, if you know anything about them, Vincent is probably a little hard to communicate with now given that he’s dead… and fictional.

So half-assed following my Liebster duties, I shall pass on this electric-bulb torch (the flickering, kind of dim ones that make you think the batteries are dying).

My Art Is Scribbles
Her site name alone makes you question the deepest pits of your soul (where Jellybeans are hidden) into what realm of thought you’re about to enter and whether you’re ready.  Scribbles?  Art scribbles?  No, in fact this is not a six year old pigtailed girl (as far as I can tell, else damn, she’s got a boyfriend at a young age… Trojan should start advertising for kids now apparently).  She rants and therefore I like… as long is humorously tasteful.

Princess Von Voodoo
If you’ve got a sense of humor, then perhaps we are onto something here.  Not the “I like cats.  Look at this one dip his paw in milk!” humor because I just maayyyy shoot that cat in spite of you posting that with the Humor tag.  Okay, I’m really not that violent by any means, but who really knows.  I can say anything here.  Anyways, just read the titles floating around Princess Von Voodoo’s page and you’ll be intrigued.  “I FUCKING LOVE COMMENTS!”?  “Princess Von Voodoo vs Nipple Mayo”?  “Douche-tastic!”?  Are these doing anything for you, reader who is not in-fact Princess Von Voodoo?

Melissa
I’m changing it up a bit with these so-called Liebster Award rules because I came across this post and she seemed to also be a fan of inserting her own additional thoughts and notes into the writing (basically, like this).  I haven’t yet figured out what this blog exaclty is about or who posts on it, since there seems to be numerous writers, but maybe there’s some other interesting content (no promises, I haven’t really read it yet haha).  I did take a liking however to how she italicized these parenthesis thoughts, so apparently some small formatting has at least rubbed off on me.

Bear Lawyer
Hahaha I have no clue what this is truly about, but given Tootsie’s apparent fear of bears, I thought it deserved a spot.  It’s like casual office humor, you know, when you fill Indiana Jones’ cubicle full of snakes and laugh as he turns the corner in horror.

Annnddddddd I don’t feel like naming a fifth.  That’s just how it is.  You’re parents always taught you that life isn’t fair (unless you had enough power and money already, they didn’t mention that useful piece of information), so you’ll have to take this as is.

Maximum Wage
Nevermind, I just found a fifth thanks to the one percent of blogs on Humor that start a blog with, “I prefer not to laugh, it only makes me want to hurt children.”  After reading through the rest of this renegade’s homepage, I feel safe in knowing that he may take candy from your baby, push a grandma down the stairs, and inform you of all of your shortcomings in the most sarcastically true way possible.  Bravo, oh Baron of Bravado.   Something like that.

Here’s an anticlimactic end to this post.  Rightttt here ->

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  1. 2011/11/29 at 2:05 pm

    This is just great, really:) Thank you so much!

  2. 2011/11/29 at 4:17 pm

    Notice to all humorous misfits and celebrities that find their way here (you can only be one or the other, pick one, but don’t be vain about what you really are): I updated the end of this post with another nominee-winner-nominee-personface. You must now reread this entire post as if you have amnesia and let these words fill you with that dizzy feeling

  3. 2011/11/29 at 4:46 pm

    Awww, you only commented me once.
    I didn’t think you cared ❤

    • 2011/11/29 at 5:00 pm

      well then now you’ve got motivation to keep it going good ;D
      heeyyaaaa! heeayaaaa! *whipcrack* write me funny posts hahaaha

  4. 2011/11/29 at 9:27 pm

    BEARRRRRRRSSS! Not cool. I HONESTLY had a dream about bears last night and I’m pretty sure it was all your fault. I was in a river and was being pulled downstream and couldn’t swim and my only option was to grab onto a bear that was floating in the river next to me and I couldn’t do it!!!

    • 2011/11/30 at 1:07 am

      well since Batman will soon be retiring from making movies, he won’t need his spotlight anymore so buy it off him, put FBG on the lens, and shine that up into the sky whenever you need me to fight off the cuddly, sharp fanged bears. You’ll know I’ve come to save you when you hear the loud incoherent yelling as I run up to the bear covered in charcoal war paint and flailing the large stick that I’ll attempt to beat it with til he accepts defeats and trots home to his cold, hard cave. That’s how to seal a victory.

  5. 2011/11/30 at 11:30 pm

    That actually does make me feel a lot better:)
    Maybe FBG can have an alternate meaning: Fierce Bear G…G…Grabber!! But if I have a bear nightmare again, guess who’s blog I’m gonna bitch on? Bear Lawyer’s. And he will have no idea why.

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