Home > Random Ramblings > Gun In Mouth Smiley Emoticon (formerly “Blowing the Barrel”)

Gun In Mouth Smiley Emoticon (formerly “Blowing the Barrel”)

…figuratively, of course.

I’m here to save instant messaging and bring it into a new era.  There is one emoticon that has been without a home in our chat repertoire and is sure to take the world by storm (a big black hard-pounding storm so black and so hard-pounding that it will undoubtably get you wet).  I prefer the term “smiley,” but “frowny” may be a bit more accurate at times.  I would like to present to you, the Gun-In-Mouth Smiley:For Better GENiUS EmoticonWe must first disregard any morbid literal use which surely crossed the over fanatical minds of some high-anxiety parents because we don’t need these individuals cramping our fun. Otherwise, this addition to the smiley family will become one of the most widely used and up among the timeless classics of small eyes big mouth 😀 and teary onion eye  😥

Let’s be honest, only some median percent of the time we’re truly happy and the rest we’re complaining… all of us… even the optimists (remember, I’m a self-proclaimed optimist shrouded by realistic, rational critique).  [on another note, science can prove something about how we’re not meant to feel “happy” 24/7, but I was too lethargic to read the study]  On a daily basis, something is going to happen that you don’t agree with and an audible sigh is only the first of many available expressions.

If you don’t believe me, take a relaxing minute to imagine that you’re casually having an online chat conversation with your coworker at the office.  In the middle of telling them you’re about to head home for the day, your boss hands down orders that they need you to develop a high-level project proposal that was due, well, yesterday.  Furthermore, the customers are planning on personally hearing you deliver this proposal tomorrow morning with great expectations.  They say a picture is worth a thousand words and at this dreary moment there’s only one solid way to express your frustration to your coworker.

For Better GENiUS EmoticonLater that night you’re on Facebook talking with your significant other who happens to be away on typical business travel… again… for the third time this month.  Thinking that you’ll have the house to yourself at least, your Darling happens to inform you that their parents are coming over in an hour because they haven’t visited enough for no reason.  Even though the parents know it’s only you home this weekend, they’ll still spend most of the afternoon mindlessly wandering around your house because you should be courteous enough to entertain them at a whim without complaint.  You were planning on spending all this alone time walking around without wearing pants too.  Ugh.

For Better GENiUS EmoticonHours pass and the ungrateful parents of your soul-mate leave; although they don’t miss a chance to comment on how untidy the place must always look when you’re home alone.  You begin texting your friend about your excruciating day while checking the online statement of your joint bank account.  This can’t be right.  You’re staring in disbelief as the Recently Purchased column shows that your live-in lover just spent your entire paycheck at the famous Little White Wedding Chapel in Las Vegas getting hitched to some person you’ve never heard of.   All of these so-called business meetings on the West Coast have been nothing but a sham as you’ve been lied to for years now… and, to further poke at the concoction of impending rage and extreme depression, you have no more money.

So you go open the squeaky bedroom closet door; the one which you’ve been meaning to fix, but ehhh no reason to worry about that now.  Digging down in the bottom right hand corner through three layers of clothes and a few pairs of shoes, you find the tattered shoe box where you’ve kept this welcoming piece of cold steel for years.

For Better GENiUS EmoticonWe should be thankful that this animated smiley is now available for public consumption, else who knows what irreparable lengths people may go to express their frustrations.

Be safe, kids.  Use Smileys.

  1. rachstick
    2012/04/27 at 10:33 pm

    Reblogged this on rachstick and commented:
    I love this

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