Home > The Daily Rant > Fit for a Monday

Fit for a Monday

Listening to the radio in your car is like choosing the lesser of multiple evils. “Which song, that irritates every vein in my body, would I rather sit through for the next three minutes?” Then on the early morning commute to work, with your ten dollar coffee in the cup holder and sleep crud relentlessly clinging onto your eyelashes, the station plays the one song that you actually enjoy and you think, “Oh boy, this is a great start to my day,” as you tap the drum beat on your steering wheel with the rhythm of a Parkinson’s patient. As you’re leaving the office nine hours later your song comes back on and again you think, “Oh boy, aren’t I lucky? This is one of the best radio stations ever! They play exactly what I want to hear!” All the while ignorantly ignoring the too predictable future that is sure to come…

Fast forward two days. You’re on your early morning commute to work, with your ten dollar coffee in the cup holder and sleep crud relentlessly clinging onto your eyelashes, the station plays the one song that you used to actually enjoy and you think, “Oh boy, do I ever fucking hate this song. It’s on all the time and the station DJs must be corporate demons out to make my life miserable. If I hear that song one more time I swear…”

But our fun experiences never end there. You can always ride in the car of the god-send “I’m Special” individuals while wondering why you’re still friends with them. They will proudly inform you, while dipping into caviar and sipping on a glass of Pinot Grigio (never mind the whole driving aspect), that they never listen to the radio because they’re smarter than you. They only listen to what THEY want to, yet soon you come to realize that this consists of a single live Eagles album on repeat. You could ride in their Dodge Stratus a year from now and Desperado will yet again grace your privileged ears.

I titled this post, “Fit for a Monday” because I seem to have a few ounces of built up pessimism that wanted to rant about anything that may warrant attention. Hopefully it didn’t rub off on your mood; I wouldn’t want to be held responsible for a riot (unless it was a really interesting riot–be imaginative). Any relation to the previous paragraph’s aggressiveness towards specific items or individuals is purely coincidental and I debated deleting it, but once I write something down it stays.

On a lighter note, if you grew up never hearing jokes or laughter–say, you lived in North Korea–when finally on the receiving end of your first truly hilarious punchline, would you still laugh out loud? Would your “laugh” follow the traditional, yet often unique sounding, “Ha Ha Ha” pattern or would you end up exhaling a completely different sound? I wonder… find me somebody that’s never been happy so we can run a few tests.

 

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  1. 2011/03/30 at 5:14 pm

    YOUR WORDS ARE LIKE WEAPONS, THEY WOUND SOMETIMES.

  2. 2011/03/30 at 5:31 pm

    HERE ARE SOME FRESH NEW SONGS FOR YOU

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It_Just_Gets_Worse

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