Home > The Goofy Book 3: Writing Experiments > Wrinkles and Looking Forward to Senility

Wrinkles and Looking Forward to Senility

Sometimes I wonder what version of “old man” I’ll turn out to be.  Will I be the type who is still down to earth and an inspiration to grandchildren?  Or will I be the grumpy old guy down on the corner who routinely shits his pants while waving his fist in the air telling the kids to get off his lawn?  Damn kids and their music.

Why back in my day we had radio stations that told us what to listen to and, to a certain level, demanded that we hear the same song four times in a day.  Who doesn’t like repetition?  We had “reality” shows that cast [unfortunately not] the lowest class of our society, and every other Tuesday we would sit and watch somebody live a fake life, get in a fight, have sex… all of the things we wish our reality actually entailed.  Son, you’ve got it made nowadays.   You young whippersnappers and your, whatchamacallit, “iBrain7s” lettin’ you………………………… (I got tired of making shit up especially when the subtle humor in my mind began fading away).

Nobody likes having pop culture and present day trends shoved in their face and neither do I.  That’s exactly why I felt like doing it–because you’ll read no matter what I say and I’m merely testing you.  I’m confident enough in telling you the truth straight to your face and leaving out any feel-good bullshit won’t turn you away.  You’ve had everyone lie to you forever, especially the current grade school generation.   Sports stop having scores taken, “losing” becomes non-existent, and red pens are no longer used to grade papers because it ruins a child’s esteem and feeling of accomplishment.  You can fail in life, you might not get that promotion you were hoping for, but if you were truly driven you’d work harder, stay longer, research deeper, and do everything possible to prove your worth because you were raised properly.  I’d stay and continue this one-sided conversation, but I’m off to enjoy my youthful days and hit up downtown Blacksburg.

TAKE NOTE: I may write like a permanently disabled amnesia patient; going from one topic to another so far out of reach that any potentially funny idea is dismissed and instead turned into a semi-serious view of our lifestyle.  This is what happens when I begin typing with reckless abandon (and a FOUR Loko by my side).

… Ass lick … now we can all forget anything we’ve discussed and for the next hour imagine the intricacies of The Human Centipede.  The night is young…. go enjoy yourself.

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  1. 2011/02/18 at 6:47 pm

    IN MY DAY OUR REALITY SHOWS WERE GLADIATORIAL DEATH MATCHES. I WOULD GET A PUTRID MEAT STICK, AND SIT WITH MY FATHER. I REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME I CAUGHT A FOUL SEVERED ARM. I STILL HAVE IT ON MY FIREPLACE MANTLE. LIONS EAT HUMAN CORPSES VERY SLOWLY.

    NICKLEBACK IS WORSE THAN HITLER.

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