A football game streaming on the right. An empty page to the left. This was meant to be an article on the peer-driven rituals of a friend turning 21. Only a few unsuspecting minutes remained before all that Jeremy knew in his life would be gone.
Watching a dismal game while it poured outside, “Fitting,”, he thought. The first half was slow, and the team he had wagered a small side bet on wasn’t performing as well as he had hoped.
“Aww, what was that ref?!,” he yelled into his computer screen in the naive but instinctive manner commonly attributed to sports fans as if the official would suddenly turn and look him eye-to-eye in the camera and say, “I’m sorry, I was wrong,” and reverse the call.
How was his team going to come back from this deficit? It wasn’t that he particularly liked this team, but there was hard-earned money riding on the outcome.
Dark and dreary. It had been raining for the past couple of days so much that the drainage pipes couldn’t handle the Read more…
Quick, it’s Friday/Saturday/Tuesday and your bachelor or bachelorette self needs to get out of the house for a drink, but haven’t eaten dinner or breakfast yet (some of you I know start earlier than others). Now, normally I’m all against posting about food, but this isn’t about food. This entry is about getting you out to the bar earlier; a public service announcement if I may say so myself. And especially for the men out there, let me tell you that bitches love a man who can cook up a meal when needed.
So let’s get right to it because there’s no time to waste… there’s actual people and a bar waiting for you!
This is actual news from the science community, and not just a made up life story… mostly... and by mostly I mean the link and the ending are true.
1499. Ming the Mollusk is born to a single mother into the quiet life of the sea floor.
1500. Ming’s mother gave it a shell-crafted pearl as a first birthday present which Ming, doing as children do, promptly got it stuck up in its gills and had to get the local doctor to pluck it out, further pushing the family into debt.
1605. Ming realized that spending a century chilling down in the mud eating Cheetos and drinking Mountain Dew was no way to live and decided to venture out of its hole.
1606. Ming was wrong and dug itself another, albeit larger, hole.
1707. Ming Read more…
Alas, I cannot get through a single news day without reading an article about lawsuits and laws to re-inform me of society’s greed over the smallest of actions and overburdening political correctness. I also wonder how many times I’ve used “alas” in a post. It’s probably because I lock myself in a bathroom, stare at the mirror, and chant Shakespeare three times to summon the frilly playwright for personal vocabulary lessons. And to talk about wenches over tea.
Read: Phrase Mocking Asians on NY CVS Receipt as I try to tell a tale without my cultural bias. Meet Hyun Lee, a woman of Korean descent who wanted a simple day in NYC getting some photos developed at a nearby CVS, probably during her 6th trip to Starbucks because no self-respecting Manhattanite keeps their Blood Coffee-Content below 0.08%. Now either the photo-developing employee was extremely racist or had an unethical sense of humor, but he decided to
Yet again I’ve been thinking about work in my sleep when I should be dreaming about bikini guns or watermelon bombs or steak.
"...urghmm Which database should we use for this test?" (how is the girlfriend even awake to hear me?) "Are they able to get hacked?" *searches around on bed for something* *gives up and lays back down* "No... no. zzzz"
Or as it may also be labeled, “Sh*t My Girlfriend Gets To Laugh At While I’m Dreaming”.
Dead sleep. Zombie Geoff is accidentally rustled by girlfriend rolling over in bed. "We just gotta find a nephew that can block the missiles!" And she starts laughing... "Whatever, just replace the missiles with deer. We gotta kill that deer!" Resume dead sleep.
Work, families, and rampaging deer in one nice chaotic dream.
…Alas, I’ve been lazy for a blog site that’s reached it’s 2 year anniversary. Cry and eat ice cream between now and